Silver takes gold
SEQUINNED dresses might be a staple of ballroom game show Strictly Come Dancing, but one contestant could be accused of taking the idea of glittery showbiz a little too far.
Various outlets report that Debbie McGee鈥檚 prowess on the dance floor is down to her daily supplement of colloidal silver, a sparkly cure-all tolerated, but not encouraged, by medical professionals. And for good reason 鈥� an overdose will turn one鈥檚 skin permanently blue, which might clash with your next ballgown.
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Perhaps it鈥檚 only natural that people assume the long-time partner of magician Paul Daniels must be using magical potions to achieve success. Feedback timidly suggests her limber moves may be down to the fact that before she became a Mrs, McGee was a professional ballet dancer.
Heart of titanium
FEEDBACK has previously pondered the final destination of various biomedical implants collected during one鈥檚 lifetime (18 November).
鈥淥liver Moody says the Beehive pub in Marylebone has some pretty totalitarian ambitions. A sign warns 鈥渙nly food and drink purchased on these premises might be consumed鈥濃��
Michael Zehse writes: 鈥淚鈥檝e got a titanium aortic valve, worth around 拢1000, so a registrar told me.鈥� Off the peg, perhaps, Michael, but be sure to check the Parkers guide price for that year鈥檚 model to avoid disappointment.
鈥淚f it now belongs to me, maybe I could sign it up for some sort of equity release so I get 拢200 cash now and a firm can have the valve upon my demise,鈥� says Michael, 鈥渁lthough I鈥檝e pre-donated my body to the London anatomy office, so presumably they will want to remove and recycle it if I die in hospital.鈥� Let鈥檚 hope the anatomy office doesn鈥檛 try to collect early.
Death and taxes
AND the mystery deepens. 鈥淲hen arranging the cremation and funeral service for my wife about five years ago,鈥� says Peter Ray, 鈥渙ut of curiosity, I asked what happened to the gold teeth some people might have. I was told by the undertaker that the gold was sent to some government agency.鈥�
Undertakers among you, is this true? It harks of taxation without representation. Surely this silent majority will be spinning in their graves.
Starts with a bang
LASTLY, Peter says he was also asked whether his wife had a pacemaker. Paul Dorner might have a clue as to why: 鈥淭his is mentioned in Iain Banks鈥檚 1992 novel The Crow Road, which begins with the immortal line, 鈥業t was the day my grandmother exploded鈥�.鈥�
Holy hospital
FOLLOWING on from the cyberpunk terms and conditions attached to Greater Anglia trains鈥� Wi-Fi services (4 November), Carol Conkey writes in with more odd legalese.
During a recent medical procedure in Nevada, she was handed a patient鈥檚 rights statement that included assurances that she had the right 鈥渘ot to be required to perform work for the facility鈥�, and that 鈥渘o beliefs or practices, or any attendance at religious services, shall be imposed鈥�.
鈥淚 certainly would have objected it they had asked me to mop the floors or wash equipment,鈥� says Carol. And while you might expect to encounter a mass during a colonoscopy, Feedback thinks it isn鈥檛 normally the type with candles and a liturgy.
Making bacon
THE prospect of lab-grown burgers is so close we could taste it, if we had a million dollars to spend on lunch. Thankfully Tony Lang finds a cheaper alternative thriving in south London.
Shoppers in Mitcham can pop down to Jovan Foods, which, according to the signage outside, bills itself as a 鈥渕eat manufacturer鈥�.
The first law
IN LOCAL news, the Nottingham Post reports the recent appearance of the Northern Lights over the city, says Perry Bebbington. Readers are informed that 鈥渁 rare scientific reaction will cause the skies above the UK to turn green鈥�.
Damp squib
, the occasional explanation of a mysterious eight-legged structure found in the sea off Rhode Island still bubbles to the surface (30 September).
鈥淒onkey feeder, drag anchor, or the remains of a paddle wheel off a paddle steamer?鈥� asks Rodney Tapp. Meanwhile, we suspect Peter Scott has been bingeing on too much family sci-fi drama. 鈥淭his metal hoop and its spokes are the remains of the flop TV show 鈥楽eagate SG1鈥�,鈥� he claims.
No-no
SOME rules are made to be broken 鈥� but not all. Richard King recalls that while training with the Royal Canadian Air Force, 鈥渢he station at Portage la Prairie had the usual 鈥楴o Smoking鈥� signs where you would expect, except in the hangars. Here there were fully fuelled aircraft, and signs that read 鈥楶ositively No Smoking鈥�.鈥�
A third of
CUTTING everything but the cost? Michael Bisson discovers that his chicken noodle soup is claiming to contain 30 per cent less salt. 鈥淲hen I got home from the grocery store, I compared it with my older package and noticed that it was actually 30 per cent less of everything. Even the recipe on the back said to add a third less water to each package.鈥�
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