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Feedback: McGee’s dancefloor silver could turn her blue

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and mor

dancer

Silver takes gold

SEQUINNED dresses might be a staple of ballroom game show Strictly Come Dancing, but one contestant could be accused of taking the idea of glittery showbiz a little too far.

Various outlets report that Debbie McGee’s prowess on the dance floor is down to her daily supplement of colloidal silver, a sparkly cure-all tolerated, but not encouraged, by medical professionals. And for good reason – an overdose will turn one’s skin permanently blue, which might clash with your next ballgown.

Perhaps it’s only natural that people assume the long-time partner of magician Paul Daniels must be using magical potions to achieve success. Feedback timidly suggests her limber moves may be down to the fact that before she became a Mrs, McGee was a professional ballet dancer.

Heart of titanium

FEEDBACK has previously pondered the final destination of various biomedical implants collected during one’s lifetime (18 November).

“Oliver Moody says the Beehive pub in Marylebone has some pretty totalitarian ambitions. A sign warns “only food and drink purchased on these premises might be consumed””

Michael Zehse writes: “I’ve got a titanium aortic valve, worth around £1000, so a registrar told me.” Off the peg, perhaps, Michael, but be sure to check the Parkers guide price for that year’s model to avoid disappointment.

“If it now belongs to me, maybe I could sign it up for some sort of equity release so I get £200 cash now and a firm can have the valve upon my demise,” says Michael, “although I’ve pre-donated my body to the London anatomy office, so presumably they will want to remove and recycle it if I die in hospital.” Let’s hope the anatomy office doesn’t try to collect early.

Death and taxes

AND the mystery deepens. “When arranging the cremation and funeral service for my wife about five years ago,” says Peter Ray, “out of curiosity, I asked what happened to the gold teeth some people might have. I was told by the undertaker that the gold was sent to some government agency.”

Undertakers among you, is this true? It harks of taxation without representation. Surely this silent majority will be spinning in their graves.

Starts with a bang

LASTLY, Peter says he was also asked whether his wife had a pacemaker. Paul Dorner might have a clue as to why: “This is mentioned in Iain Banks’s 1992 novel The Crow Road, which begins with the immortal line, ‘It was the day my grandmother exploded’.”

Holy hospital

FOLLOWING on from the cyberpunk terms and conditions attached to Greater Anglia trains’ Wi-Fi services (4 November), Carol Conkey writes in with more odd legalese.

During a recent medical procedure in Nevada, she was handed a patient’s rights statement that included assurances that she had the right “not to be required to perform work for the facility”, and that “no beliefs or practices, or any attendance at religious services, shall be imposed”.

“I certainly would have objected it they had asked me to mop the floors or wash equipment,” says Carol. And while you might expect to encounter a mass during a colonoscopy, Feedback thinks it isn’t normally the type with candles and a liturgy.

Making bacon

THE prospect of lab-grown burgers is so close we could taste it, if we had a million dollars to spend on lunch. Thankfully Tony Lang finds a cheaper alternative thriving in south London.

Shoppers in Mitcham can pop down to Jovan Foods, which, according to the signage outside, bills itself as a “meat manufacturer”.

The first law

IN LOCAL news, the Nottingham Post reports the recent appearance of the Northern Lights over the city, says Perry Bebbington. Readers are informed that “a rare scientific reaction will cause the skies above the UK to turn green”.

Damp squib

, the occasional explanation of a mysterious eight-legged structure found in the sea off Rhode Island still bubbles to the surface (30 September).

“Donkey feeder, drag anchor, or the remains of a paddle wheel off a paddle steamer?” asks Rodney Tapp. Meanwhile, we suspect Peter Scott has been bingeing on too much family sci-fi drama. “This metal hoop and its spokes are the remains of the flop TV show ‘Seagate SG1’,” he claims.

No-no

no smoking sign

SOME rules are made to be broken – but not all. Richard King recalls that while training with the Royal Canadian Air Force, “the station at Portage la Prairie had the usual ‘No Smoking’ signs where you would expect, except in the hangars. Here there were fully fuelled aircraft, and signs that read ‘Positively No Smoking’.”

A third of

CUTTING everything but the cost? Michael Bisson discovers that his chicken noodle soup is claiming to contain 30 per cent less salt. “When I got home from the grocery store, I compared it with my older package and noticed that it was actually 30 per cent less of everything. Even the recipe on the back said to add a third less water to each package.”

You can send stories to Feedback by email at feedback@newscientist.com. Please include your home address. This week’s and past Feedbacks can be seen on our website.

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