Pitcher this
ARE you sitting comfortably? If not, Feedback suggests splashing out on what could be your final resting place 鈥� if only because you鈥檒l have no money left for other furniture.
鈥淚 saw this beautiful urn and naturally I thought of you,鈥� writes . 鈥淎pparently it contains the ashes of scientific reason.鈥� What is it, exactly? Feedback couldn鈥檛 fit the item鈥檚 full name as quoted on Amazon, an indigestible word salad of 25 fringe therapy buzzwords, but let鈥檚 call it the Healthy Urn for short.
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The blue and white lotus-flower-decorated 鈥渁ir bath鈥� is a sort of one-person sauna you clamber inside to bathe in clouds of 鈥渘ano anions鈥� released by the gemstone-studded interior. Predictably, cosplaying as a giant sweaty vase delivers manifold benefits so far overlooked by medical science, including a strengthening of 鈥渂iosome natural curability鈥�, aiding of the 鈥渟even human body systems鈥�, killing of 鈥渂ad cells鈥�, prevention of ageing, and that perennial classic, improved circulation. Presumably, it will also uncrease your clothes.
While Feedback is tempted by the idea of a cosy capsule in which to flee the cares of the world, we think the 拢18,300 price tag might leave furrows in our brow that even a steam bath couldn鈥檛 smooth out.
We note, finally, that the makers of the Healthy Urn mention its use for senility. We agree it could be, though as a diagnostic rather than a cure.
鈥溾�漀ikole Lewis鈥� announces the discovery of seven Earth-like planets orbiting a nearby star at NASA Headquarters in Washington, DC,鈥� . 鈥淭hey didn鈥檛 have to look far,鈥� muses Crispin Piney鈥�
Big dish
PREVIOUSLY Ed Prior worried about the diminishing superlatives available for ever-bigger radio telescopes, with the Very Large Telescope (VLT) in Chile soon to be overshadowed by the Extremely Large Telescope (ELT) (22 February).
Margaret Pitcher writes to point out that 鈥渢here鈥檚 always 鈥榗yclopean鈥�, already used to suggest great size, and Cyclops did have one big eye.鈥�
Alan Carter, meanwhile, thinks that 鈥減erhaps in this era of Trump the answer should be the Bigly Large Telescope鈥�. As an added bonus, 鈥渋t would share an abbreviation with a popular sandwich, which could help with sponsorship opportunities too.鈥�
Lastly, Paul King suggests that 鈥渢he successor to the Extremely Large Telescope would obviously be the FET鈥�.
Well water
READERS will recall Feedback pondering a device offered by Echo Elemonics, which promised to add fizz to your life by infusing drinking water with hydrogen (18 February), and a London restaurant that was in the odd habit of adding imported seawater to their pizza dough (11 March).
Sifting through the flotsam of his own inbox, David Cox discovers something that combines both notions in Internal Medicine Review (not to be confused with the Internal Medicine Journal).
David forwards an abstract of 鈥渇unctional water鈥�, that is to say water imbued with micronutrients and airy promises of well-being. Feedback was under the impression that water was rather functional already, but what do we know?
The abstract notes that functional water has already seized attention for its many health benefits, noting the liquid鈥檚 capacity to 鈥渕aintain or restore physiological self-regulation鈥�, which Feedback thinks could be another way of saying a couple of litres per day will keep you alive.
It also notes rather grandly that 鈥渇ormation of a super-coherent biological plasma-like physiological water is considered one of the most important characteristics of a healthy physiological state鈥�, which we think means that it鈥檚 a good idea to be filled with blood if you want to stay healthy.
The abstract closes with an endorsement of drinking 鈥渄eep ocean mineral water鈥� for its health benefits, a recommendation that Feedback will politely decline 鈥� unless it comes wrapped in dough with melted cheese on top.
Con-fusion
STAYING on the topic of fizzy water, David Wendt (and many others among you) writes to chide us for inadvertently coupling the hydrogen ions added by Echo Elemonics, describing them as hydrogen molecules. We promise less delinquent chemistry in future issues.
Lacking something
SOARING over the maple trees and red-blazered mounted police, John Carpenter discovers that the mineral water served to him on a recent Air Canada flight quotes a nitrate content of 鈥�<0鈥�. 鈥淚t looks as though they have found a way to make matter disappear,鈥� says John.
Perhaps this is a dual use technology? Feedback notes that nitrates are an important component of explosives 鈥� just the sort of thing you might need to neutralise in a hurry on a plane. In which case, this Canadian mineral water sounds like the one liquid you should be allowed in your carry-on luggage.
Thinking cap
YES to paddock survey, announces the Newark Advertiser, as amateur archaeologists are given the go-ahead to study Warner鈥檚 Paddock, believed to be in 鈥渢he oldest part of the town鈥� of Bingham, UK. The newspaper reports that the survey will be performed by 鈥渃arrying an imagining tool across every part of the field鈥�.
Waiting with bated breath for the results is Peter Duffell, who thinks 鈥淭he sky is the limit. Perhaps they can imagine that they will find Lord Lucan, Atlantis or any manner of things.鈥�