Spelling it out
THE WHARF is a free daily paper handed out in London鈥檚 Docklands financial district, covering news, sports, lifestyle and more recently, witchcraft. Each week, the anonymous 鈥淲itch of the Wharf鈥� conjures up a full page of mystical readings and celebrity gossip, proving she is well versed in all .
The column includes practical advice for bankers, such as placing a lump of fire agate on your project proposal overnight to ensure it is successful, with the paradoxical promise that those who do will 鈥渂e surprised by the result鈥�.
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We wonder if there is a gemstone out there that will offer city slickers protection against the next financial crisis. Feedback thinks a fire agate paperweight worth about 拢100 billion might be adequate insurance.
Lastly, the column also offers cryptic advice to named readers, warning a certain 鈥淒ion鈥� that 鈥淪omeone is going to try to hawk you something. Steer well clear, it鈥檚 not what it appears.鈥� .
鈥淭he devil finds work for downward dogs, reveals Current Sociology. A leading exorcist finds the practice so dangerous that: 鈥溾�� At the end of one of the rituals, he gives out a booklet titled Beware of Yoga鈥溾赌�
Devil鈥檚 due
鈥�, Lucifer, Baal, Moloch, Leviathan, Belfagor, Chernobog, Mammon鈥︹�� It鈥檚 not often that a scientific paper opens with the collected names of the beast, but 鈥淢astering the devil: A sociological analysis of the practice of a Catholic exorcist鈥� is hardly run-of-the-mill.
The journal Current Sociology has published an analysis of exorcisms, which it notes is presently a growth industry for the Catholic church, with half a million rituals performed annually worldwide.
One reason for that vast number could be that a single exorcism may not suffice. The study mentions that one particularly possessed individual required 26 exorcisms, while another received an incredible 354 over 10 years 鈥� surely entitling them to some kind of discount loyalty card, Feedback thinks.
The authors note that those affected often share a propensity to indulge in 鈥渟uspicious experiences鈥� 鈥� by seeking out seances, magicians, clairvoyants, and fortune tellers. Jones, put away that fire agate!
In the dark
FLORIDA newspaper The Villages Daily Sun informs readers that 鈥淪olar eclipses occur when the sun enters the Earth鈥檚 shadow, NASA stated鈥�.
Andrew Doble is left puzzling over his orrery, trying to figure out where to move the sun so it is simultaneously in front of and behind the Earth.
Teacher鈥檚 pet
AN has been recalled after complaints that it gave details of how to kill kittens. The offending passage read: 鈥淧ut a small kitten in each box. Close the boxes. After some time open the boxes. What do you see? The kitten inside the box without holes has died.鈥�
An important lesson on the proper storage of air-breathing mammals 鈥� but how very Newtonian! As any quantum physicist will tell you: the kitten can survive indefinitely, so long as you don鈥檛 open the box.
Throwing shapes
WE ARE alerted by Tony Ware of a British school that banned triangular flapjacks after an 鈥渋solated incident鈥� where a student was hit in the face by an airborne oatcake. Catering staff were told to cut the flapjacks into rectangles instead, but Feedback wonders: doesn鈥檛 that increase the number of corners by 33 per cent? Gently curved edges would be ideal, if somewhat aerodynamic, but how round can these snacks be cut while still tessellating in a baking tray?
Stellar superlative
are weighing on Ed Prior鈥檚 mind, prompted by an article on Chile鈥檚 Very Large Telescope (4 February, p 14).
鈥淭here are hopes that the 鈥楨xtremely Large Telescope鈥� under construction there will examine many more planets,鈥� says Ed. 鈥淏ut now Chile faces the dire challenge of what adjectives to use for the next such telescope? The 鈥榁ery Extremely Large鈥� Telescope? The 鈥楬umongous Large鈥� Telescope?鈥� Feedback is scouring our very large dictionary for ideas.
Dressing attractively
IT鈥橲 just the thing if you鈥檙e lacking direction on the field. Sportswear from Al1ve Magnetics offers 鈥渞evolutionary compression鈥� and performance-enhancing power, thanks to strategically placed magnets within the fabric.
Feedback is rather jaded by sportswear technology that promises to turn us into Olympians, but the idea of a shirt that will fold itself up after being washed is quite appealing.
Cable knit
might prefer something from Seiichi Takamatsu and his colleagues, who announce in Advanced Materials that they have put a keyboard into a sweater. By working with conductive materials, they have created a stretchy, touch-sensitive garment that allows you to type on the trot. Just be careful hugging anyone dressed in Al1ve Magnetics sportswear unless you want your emails scrambled.