Hyperverbosity
Despite blowing past the word count, last week鈥檚 column came in 15 lines too short, according to the editor. The only explanation we could find is that Feedback didn鈥檛 use enough long words.
So, this week we are performing sesquipedalianism. Some readers may, unimaginatively, think this is pointless, but such beliefs are incomprehensibilities and those people are engaged in flagrant floccinaucinihipilification. We might even win a prize for using so many long words, which would mean that Feedback is in the state of honorificabilitudinitatibus.
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Cryptocurrency career
One of the delights of the modern internet era is to be constantly told about people鈥檚 exciting new jobs on social media. This happens a lot on LinkedIn, the social networking site for people who have or want jobs. Feedback isn鈥檛 signed up, in a bid to retain our studied anonymity, and also because we don鈥檛 want a job. Yet hundreds of millions of people are, and all of them are busy telling you about their accomplishments.
Take the cryptocurrency entrepreneur Ryan Salame, who announced his new role in October. Salame posted: 鈥淚鈥檓 happy to share that I鈥檓 starting a new position as Inmate at FCI Cumberland!鈥� This was accompanied by a celebratory animation of a cherry falling onto a cupcake, against a background of people jumping for joy.
Feedback can鈥檛 decide if this is self-deprecating humour or the most phenomenal display of arrogant disdain. After all, Salame, by his own account, 鈥渁ssisted Sam Bankman-Fried with the founding and creation of FTX Trading Ltd鈥� before becoming CEO of FTX Digital Markets in [sic] September 1, 2021鈥�. In May this year, he was sentenced to seven years in prison after pleading guilty to violating political campaign finance laws and operating an illegal money-transmitting business.
On LinkedIn, under the 鈥淓xperience鈥� header, where people list jobs, Salame says he is:
鈥苍尘补迟别
鈥CI Cumberland 路 Full-time
鈥ct 2024 鈥� Oct 2024 路 1 mo
鈥umberland, Maryland, United States 路 On-site
He lists his job responsibilities as 鈥渃leaning and whittling鈥�.
Feedback is delighted to see a cryptocurrency felon accepting responsibility and learning the vital importance of social responsibility.
Feedback is also intrigued to note that Salame, prior to his incarceration, began operating a number of restaurants. Morbid curiosity prompts us to try one of them, but we worry that the waiters would take the food off somebody else鈥檚 table in order to supply ours.
Leaders of thought
Occasionally, Feedback sees something that leaves us blinking in utter bafflement. This happened when we came across Thinkers360, which identifies itself as 鈥渢he world鈥檚 premier B2B thought leader, analyst and influencer community鈥�.
This appears to mean it has a list of people who purport to be experts (鈥渢hought leaders鈥�) in some field or other, who it hires out. Finally, a talent agency for people who can pontificate. Feedback is tempted to register as a thought leader in writing about nonsense.
The list of expertise claimed by Thinkers360 is truly dizzying. The company says it focuses on 鈥渃utting edge business, technology and sustainability topics鈥�, and lists no fewer than 92 fields on its site, ranging from covid-19 and autonomous vehicles to quantum computing and (of course) 鈥淢etaverse鈥�.
Intrigued, we entered the company鈥檚 database, only to fall down a bottomless rabbit hole of drivel. One prospective speaker purports to be Chief Googlization Officer at the Poised for the Future Company. We aren鈥檛 making this up 鈥� just search for this person online using, er, a search engine.
Anyway, in a selfless act, the company is helping experts in generative AI to get the recognition they deserve. It is offering 鈥渁 unique opportunity to earn globally recognizable digital badges and credentials that validate your thought leadership and skills in this rapidly evolving field鈥�.
What this seems to mean is that, if you can talk plausibly about generative AI, you can get a picture of a black-and-white badge that says 鈥淭op 50 Thought Leader: Generative AI鈥�.
Feedback is definitely not, repeat not, encouraging readers to see if they can obtain these badges for their cats.
Category error
Feedback worries that key online services are getting worse. Case in point: on 24 October, we checked the 鈥淪cience鈥� section of Google News. Under a series of headlines about space rocks heading towards Earth, a space rock that hit Earth billions of years ago and robots inspired by extinct animals, was this: 鈥淚鈥檝e slept with my girlfriend鈥檚 mother, my friend鈥檚 sister and even talked my THERAPIST into bed, but I can鈥檛 help it鈥�.
This seemed rather out of place, and our distress was only heightened when we discovered that the story misspelled 鈥渕asturbate鈥� as 鈥渕asterbate鈥� in its URL. No prizes for guessing which tabloid newspaper was the publisher 鈥� but well done if you guessed that the story鈥檚 only source was an anonymous Reddit thread. Feedback is no prude, but we aren鈥檛 sure this story, fascinating as it proved to be, has been correctly categorised.
Got a story for Feedback?
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