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Feedback: Giant glowing squirrels haunt North Carolina backwoods

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

pink squirrel cartoon

Creepy critters

SHOULD a visitor to North Carolina’s backwoods report the existence of giant, glowing pink squirrels, you might be forgiven for thinking they had been on the moonshine. But it is no joke. If you go down to the woods tonight, equipped with a UV light, you are quite likely to get a big surprise.

The eastern part of the state is famous for its fox squirrels, which can stand 65 centimetres tall. As if that weren’t disconcerting enough, state biologists report that many have a genetic condition that makes their fur glow a spectral pink under UV light.

Called congenital erythropoietic porphyria, in people it can cause hypersensitivity to sunlight and has been suggested as an explanation for the origin of vampire legends. Although if vampires were pink glowing furballs with a penchant for nuts, we might not find them so scary.

Silver service

AN APARTMENT building in Massachusetts has been evacuated after a resident melted down his grandfather’s collection of dental fillings.

“Whoosh! India’s new high-speed train looked impressive in a video posted by railways minister Piyush Goyal – until users pointed out the clip had been sped up to twice normal speed”

Local news channel CBS Boston reports that the man thought the fillings, gathered during his grandfather’s career as a dentist, contained silver. But they actually contained mercury, which the amateur alchemist vaporised, landing himself and two other residents in hospital.

In-the-red planet

COMING down to Earth with a bump: Mars One, the commercial arm of the reality television show/Martian colonisation project is bankrupt. Over more than seven years, Mars One garnered headlines and huge public interest, though no space travel, with the promise to send 20 humans on a one-way trip to the Red Planet.

Sadly, it seems that populating the first graveyard on Mars is no easy feat. A proposal to fund the mission by selling the documentary rights – a commission so eye-wateringly expensive it would have made Game of Thrones seem very cheap – fell through, and a crowdfunding effort to raise money for a Martian orbiter and lander petered out at $313,000. By comparison, Mars Express, a European Space Agency lander and orbiter, had what was often called a shoestring budget – of $345 million.

It can only be a matter of time until an unflattering documentary lays out the saga, a sort of interplanetary Fyre festival with wannabe Martians instead of models. Which funnily enough, is something we think is definitely worth watching.

Fighting dirty

THE cable TV show Fox & Friends has something of a reputation as a purveyor of alternative facts – inviting disgraced clinician Andrew Wakefield to air his views about vaccines, for example. Even so, host Pete Hegseth raised eyebrows by disavowing the existence of germs live on air. “I don’t think I’ve washed my hands for 10 years,” the anchorman told viewers. “Really. I don’t really wash my hands. I inoculate myself… germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them, therefore they’re not real.”

The idea that being unable to see something means it doesn’t exist is a view we have all held, though 38-year-old Hegseth has held onto it for 36 years longer than most. Yet faster than you can say “fake news”, Hegseth said he was satirising the loony left and their preoccupation with germs. Er… take that, liberals!

Extra longs

CIGARETTE smokers in Hawaii might have to wait a long time to get their fix, if a local law-maker gets his way. Democrat representative and medical doctor Richard Creagan has proposed raising the smoking age to 100.

Creagan’s proposition would see the age limit rise from 21 now to 30 next year, and then by a decade every year until 2024, when it would jump to 100. Presumably, anybody that old is unlikely to live long enough to succumb to many of the ill effects of cigarettes, but they might have to suffer pleading from 50-year-old grandchildren to buy them some.

Tipping the scales

crocodiles cartoon

THE Australian Bureau of Meteorology is pushing unusual units to new heights, informing Patrick Murphy via its Facebook page that “roughly 16,000 cubic metres of water is currently flowing over Burdekin Falls Dam in Queensland every second, the equivalent of 16,000 fully grown saltwater crocodiles being flushed down the river every second”.

We’re not sure the terrifying mental image of 16,000 tonnes of fangs, reptilian muscle and armoured skin tumbling over a weir every second is actually any easier to grasp than 16,000 cubic metres of water, but we know one thing: the two don’t feel equivalent at all.

Pushing their buttons

“WE ARE confident that thousands, if not millions of couples will realize benefit from using LoveSync.” So say Ryan and Jenn Cmich, who are seeking backers to fund an electronic device that promises to improve your sex life.

It features two buttons. Press yours to surreptitiously signal your amorous desires. If your partner also presses their button within a set time, bingo, LoveSync alerts you to the fact that you are both in the mood.

Truly there is an app for everything, even couples who are too shy to hit on each other. After all, is there anything more romantic than the phrase “Desire may be canceled using a 4 second button hold”?

You can send stories to Feedback by email at feedback@newscientist.com. Please include your home address. This week’s and past Feedbacks can be seen on our website.

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