Call a doctor
ANYONE trying to place a call from the public telephone box in Loweswater, Cumbria, UK, is in for a shock. It鈥檚 one of more than 3000 that have been to house a defibrillator by the Community HeartBeat Trust.
Any local community can adopt one of iconic red K6 phone boxes. For 拢1, you also receive on-brand red and gold paint and free electricity for seven years 鈥� though only the 8 watts necessary to power the internal light. The trust will install a defibrillator, which can be unlocked with help from an emergency operator on the other end of the line.
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So if you must have a heart attack while strolling in the countryside, try to have it near a phone box.
Peddling pong
MORE innovation: we are excited by Daniel Idzkowsk鈥檚 cunning plan to raise a stink about the rate of bicycle theft in San Francisco. His SkunkLock is a secure black-and-white striped lock that, if cut, sprays the thief with a 鈥�.
鈥淢ontgomeryshire MP Glyn Davies confirms our suspicions that politicians live in a different planet to the rest of us, announcing on Twitter: 鈥淧ersonally, never thought of academics as 鈥榚xperts鈥�. No experience of the real world.鈥濃��
This will be foul enough to cause fits of vomiting and send the thief scurrying. Like others, we鈥檙e not sure how the owner is then supposed to approach the debased bike.
Feedback takes an evolutionary approach to cycle security. We are drawing up plans for a : a cheap, non-stinky version with identical markings, and the promise that you鈥檒l return to a pleasant-smelling bike, or no bike at all.
Disappointing delivery
THE robots have arrived, and they . Crowdsourced taxicab firm Uber announced that a specially designed lorry carrying 40,000 cold ones reached Colorado Springs, US, making the most of the 120-mile trip from the brewery without human hands on the wheel.
While this may be a plot to win over humans by appealing to our baser instincts, some machine learning is required: the truck was loaded with Budweiser, a lager that can be generously described as 鈥渋noffensive鈥�.
Feedback welcomes our new robot overlords, but we hope they develop a more refined taste in beer.
Hearts and minds
LOVESTRUCK couples are often characterised as giddy, stupidly happy or having brains that have turned to mush. Now Hiroaki Kawamichi and his colleagues declare, in published in Frontiers in Psychology, that there may be some truth in these uncharitable descriptions.
The team studied the brain scans of 113 people, some of whom were romantically involved and others not. The results showed that the loved-up among the group had less dense grey matter in the brain鈥檚 reward centre.
The researchers鈥� declaration that 鈥渂eing in a romantic relationship is associated with a reduction of gray matter density in the right dorsal striatum鈥� probably won鈥檛 make for a great Valentine鈥檚 Day card, but at least it might keep your parents off your back the next time they ask why you鈥檝e not yet settled down.
Frozen accounts
THE UK鈥檚 first national sperm bank has been put on ice after two years, having failed to attract sufficient, er, investment.
The centre was intended to plug a gap in the market that saw infertile couples turning to offshore or unlicensed sources for their gametes, a goal which earned a 拢77,000 grant from the Department of Health. But staff struggled to get it up and running, managing to attract just seven donors. Funding dried up when the bank could not show financial self-sufficiency.
Feedback notes that the UK government has stepped in before to rescue banks low on liquid assets. Are our elected representatives and peers well-suited to contribute to this one?
Litter bug
GLANCING in the rear view mirror, we recall Penny Jackson being nonplussed by highway signs chiding her that 鈥淧icking up your litter risks roadworkers鈥� lives鈥� (29 October).
Drew Rankine writes that in an underpass of the M8 west of Glasgow, a solitary sign proclaims: 鈥淐CTV litter enforcement in progress.鈥�
Drew wonders whether it is the dropping of litter, or not dropping of litter, that is being enforced.
鈥淯nlike the pedants who write to Private Eye, I do get out quite a lot,鈥� says Drew, 鈥渂ut I find the modern world more and more confusing.鈥�
Booze shoes
AS AN earnest student, Feedback could often be found studying in a bar called the Stumble Inn, which many a wag quipped would have been better named the Stumble Out. Eunjeong Park and his colleagues at the Yonsei University College of Medicine in South Korea have developed this notion with a pair of shoes offering, as they put it, 鈥渦nobtrusive and continuous monitoring of alcohol-impaired gait鈥�.
The researchers equipped insoles with pressure sensors that learned the individual walking pattern of 20 test subjects, and could spot when a sober amble slurred to an intoxicated sway. The future of pub crawls looks promising: once you鈥檝e filled your boots with beer delivered by robots, a pair of smart shoes will be on hand (or is that on foot?) to march you home.
Say nothing
FINALLY, the UK Land Registry website offers Simon Grant a pop-up: 鈥�<< no_message >>鈥� with the option 鈥淒o not show this message again鈥�. How will he know if clicking this option works?