
It’s a mad MAD world
THIS week marks the 71st anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which led to the deaths of over 129,000 people. Earlier this month British MPs voted to maintain the UK’s nuclear deterrent, which aims to prevent a repeat of this tragedy by making sure it can happen again at any given moment.
Shortly before becoming prime minister, Theresa May wrote a letter in the stating that it would be “sheer madness” to give up the country’s nuclear arsenal, and the mutually assured destruction it offers.MAD is in fact sane, we are told, and renewing Trident will demonstrate that “we remain committed to working alongside our NATO allies” even as the UK prepares to distance itself from its European ones.
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Nonetheless, further cooperation with one NATO partner is inescapable: despite claims that nuclear defence is the flexing biceps of its independence, the UK can’t build the submarines, missiles or warheads needed without US assistance.
“In the waiting room of a clinic in Harrogate, a poster advises Michael Laycock: “Please note you may expect to wait if being seen by rapid access doctor.”“
A long shelf life
to a local journalist that “if you live in Clifton you are going to live ten times longer on average than someone living in Knowle West and some of that is down to diet and what you eat.”
Barry Cash who lives in nearby Bishopston, where the life-extending benefits of local food are unclear, has doubts about the accuracy of the statement. But he admits: “It could explain why the restaurants are so expensive in Clifton.”
It seems much more likely that life in Clifton just seems ten times longer, says Barry, “because the residents’ parking zone makes it so difficult to find a space”.
Papal poke
POPE FRANCIS has urged nuns to break the habit of frittering away hours on Facebook in his latest Apostolic Constitution. The guide to living the God life states that nuns ought to be wary of “wasting time or escaping from the demands of fraternal life in the community”.
Feedback thinks it’s worth bearing in mind that when it came to the Ten Commandments, even Moses used a pair of tablets.
Package tour
FURTHER to Feedback’s observation that UK Post Office guidelines do not explicitly rule out sending oneself by mail, Tony Harker relays the case of legendary prankster W. Reginald Bray, who repeatedly tested the limits of the postal system in early 20th-century Britain. As well as posting a collection of bizarre items, we’re told, he arranged to have himself delivered by mail on more than one occasion.
Bray’s antics are recounted in John Tingey’s The Englishman Who Posted Himself and Other Curious Objects.
Big bangs
PAUL BUCKINGHAM writes that he has always wondered if the mantra that matter “can neither be created nor destroyed” was reliable. “Apparently it does not even apply here in France,” he says, as “on my Elseve shampoo bottle, manufacturer L’Oréal claims to be Créateur de matière – a creator of matter.” A volume-enhancing concoction, perhaps?
Second glance
“IN RESPONSE to Ian Napier’s quest for a phrase meaning a recurrent feeling of déjà vu,” writes Dan Wunder (9 July), “this humble author suggests déjà deux in keeping with the overall esprit de la France of the original.
Tailor’s holiday
FEEDBACK was perplexed by the news that in many places on the Continent, the slow news season is referred to as “cucumber time” (30 July).
Dave Beakhurst writes to say that one Dutch source claims the phrase komkommertijd comes from an English expression, dating back to around 1700. According to IsGeschiedenis, cucumber time takes its name from the summer period when the nobility retreated to their country homes, leaving the city tailors who dressed them out of work, and only able to afford cucumbers to eat.
“The history quoted doesn’t completely explain its near-ubiquity in northern Europe, so may be just one possibility,” he says. Perhaps it’s down to an inordinate fondness for cucumbers.
Trunk time

ELEPHANTS are journalists’ favoured unit of weight, but we found them used as a unit of area by the Rogers Centre baseball stadium in Toronto (25 June).
Andrew Glassner gets in touch to say elephants are also employed as a unit of time: “At the website from Princeton University, we discover ‘only 60 elephant lifetimes ago, much of East Africa was dense tropical forest’.”
Andrew suspects that all of space and time may be measured in elephants – which makes them a convenient reference point, if only Feedback were remotely familiar with their weight, area or lifespan.
Veni vidi Viz
OUR all-seeing eye discovers Rob Ellis boasting to Viz that he has published in both Feedback and Profanisaurus, but “won’t be telling èƵ this”. To which we say, why ever not?
We can assure you there’s no shortage of creative profanity in our letterbocks, er, letterbox.