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Feedback: Zika fears unleash a plague of dubious deterrents

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

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Buzzed off

WITH the Olympic Games in Rio just a month away, plenty of companies are hoping to cash in. Rebecca Robbins of medical publication gives a tour of some of the goods claiming to protect against Zika virus, including stickers, hats, nets, wristbands and bracelets. All are infused with anti-mosquito spray, and all offer protection that is dubious at best.

Add to this “anti-Zika condoms” to prevent sexual transmission of the virus (all condoms offer such protection), and herbalists offering turmeric, basil and ginger as a way to waste good curry ingredients in ineffective antivirals. And of course, we are told by that the water cure offers prophylaxis against such epidemics –dilutions of belladonna, poison ivy and boneset are said to be equally effective, .

Avoidance remains the best strategy, and while DEET is still the deterrent of choice, Feedback recalls, as Robbins does, the news last year that Victoria’s Secret Bombshell perfume offers some protection from Zika (28 November, 2015) – whether borne by mosquitoes or men.

“Colin McCulloch writes: “Your comment on the ‘first cut’ article sponsored by Gillette reminded me of free condoms and chlamydia tests promoted in pharmacies under a Virgin Care logo”“

To me

FEEDBACK has been led up the garden path, writes Mark Fawcett (18 June). “Alicia Keys was not born with that name, but adopted it,” he says, because she felt it represented her identity as a performer.

This is therefore a case of harnessing the power of nominative determinism for career success, much like South Yorkshire comedy duo the Chuckle Brothers.

Mud locker

PREVIOUSLY The Irish Times hinted enigmatically that it was “not unusual” to discover lumps of millennia-old butter hidden in bogs (25 June). “The prevailing theory is that, being at an evenly cold temperature, bogs were used in ancient times much as we use refrigerators today,” writes Ian Napier. “Personally, however, I suspect they didn’t know what else to do with it until the invention of sliced bread.”

Ersatz spritz

WE ARE left baffled, as David Moss is, by Glaceau brand bottled water, which boasts that it is “distilled spring water with added electrolytes”. Isn’t that a rather circular process? How do they tell the difference between the two? And when is the water deemed ready for drinking?

To you

MEANWHILE, Crispian Strachan writes, there is also nominative anti-determinism at work in this universe. “Some years ago, one English police force had a brass band led by a local conductor, one Major Crook,” he says. And perhaps in a similar vein, there is South Yorkshire comedy duo the Chuckle Brothers.

Circle the wagons

DURING recent floods in Launceton, Tasmania, officials warned that “24,000 Volkswagens worth of water” was flowing through swollen rivers every second, reports Jon Burne.

“I immediately wondered which model the controller was referring to,” says Jon. Feedback feels that Jon ought to focus on the spirit, rather than the letter of the warning.

Cool runnings

MARK RIBBANDS is delighted by the acoustic specifications touted for the ventilation fan he’s fitting to a motorhome. Not only is the device reported to be “silent at high speed” but, even better, it’s “exceptionally silent” at minimum speed.

Déjà too

IAN NAPIER, a name we’re sure sounds familiar, asks: “What is the term for having had that déjà vu feeling before? Is that just plain old déjà vu, déjà vu squared or something else entirely?” Perhaps one of Feedback’s wise readers can advise.

Uphill struggle

FEEDBACK has previously struggled with how to adhere to the rules of the Celebrity Diet – that is, selecting foods that are high in energy but low in calories – and came to the conclusion that food eaten on a mountain such as Helvellyn might fit the bill (4 June).

“My teenage son, Luke, points out that the Celebrity Diet would be very successful” if this were the case, says Sean Kelly. “Having dined on top of Helvellyn, you must descend to ground level to harness the potential energy stored within your low calorie dinner. To eat again, you need to ascend Helvellyn again.” Weight loss will be rapid, we are assured.
hyperloop cartoon

Tube tale

MORE pre-science prescience in literary fiction: Dave Cheesman writes that Elon Musk’s Hyperloop is presaged in the 4 July 1950 issue of The Eagle comic, “in which Dan Dare and his stalwart batman Digby are taken by the Treens to the capital of Venus in an ‘Electrosender'”. This baroque transportation carriage is shot down a vacuum tube using electromagnets, reaching speeds of 24,000 kilometres per hour. Sounds familiar, but no word yet from Musk on plans for Venus.

That’s nuts

WHAT makes something healthy? A pack of “raw organic apricot kernels” warns buyers they must limit themselves to just 8 seeds per day, due to the presence of amygdalin, “which can cause symptoms of cyanide poisoning when eaten in excess”. Nonetheless, we are also informed that the kernels come from wild trees untouched by any “pesticide, herbicide or synthetic fertilizer”. What a relief!

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