Confounding cutlery
FEEDBACK鈥檚 memory is stirred by Andrew Brooker, who writes that some years ago we mused upon the gradual but inexorable disappearance of teaspoons in shared houses, and wondered whether this was a quantum effect.
鈥淚 have noticed during the course of an experiment lasting several decades that every time I finish the washing up and pour all the hot water from the bowl, there are always a couple of spoons left in the bottom,鈥� writes Andrew. 鈥淐uriously, this phenomenon doesn鈥檛 occur in the dishwasher.鈥�
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Feedback is left to wonder if these are our readers鈥� missing teaspoons, somehow resurfacing in Andrew鈥檚 washing up bowl. Is this what Einstein meant by spooky action at a distance?
鈥淪ophie Riley is reliably informed by the Sydney Morning Herald that 鈥渢he remaining wild population of the orange-bellied parrot weighs, in total, as much as 1陆 litres of milk鈥�. .鈥�
Show your papers
IF YOU read the UK government鈥檚 Home Office pamphlets for fun (and who doesn鈥檛?), you鈥檒l no doubt be aware that HM Passport Office鈥檚 Introducing the new UK passport design 鈥� if impractical 鈥� new units of measurement.
The new passport depicts the SS Great Britain which, we are told, could carry 鈥�1,200 tons of coal 鈥� the same weight as nearly 35 million passports鈥�. This figure is 鈥渕ore than the UK population at the time it launched鈥�, . Also shown is the London Underground, whose network covers 402 kilometres 鈥� a distance we would need 3 million passports laid end to end to match.
Maybe HM Passport Office could make things a bit more practical by issuing much larger, heavier passports?
Raising the odds
DURING a recent holiday to Beijing, David Rapley stayed in a hotel that bore a stern warning in the lobby: 鈥淚n case of fire and earthquake, do not use the lift鈥�.
David tells us that although he was relieved that guests were permitted to use the elevators in the event of either of these catastrophes, he wonders if we are aware of 鈥渁ny other events where one should beware of a cumulative effect?鈥�
Wash and go
MARY BRIDSON reports the discovery of a passive-aggressive label sewn into her own clothes. 鈥淢y super-ventilating sports shirt has a tag that says 鈥榃ash this when dirty鈥�,鈥� she writes. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 decide if it is accusing me of laundry-mania, or is a subtle hint not to run around stinking to high heaven.鈥�
Pooh sticks
OUR inbox is awash with reports of nature鈥檚 surprising smells. Feedback鈥檚 desire to pursue carpentry as a hobby is tempered by Nina Dougall鈥檚 report on the aromatic state of certain types of wood. She writes that 鈥渁s a woodworker I can assure you that Queensland rosewood smells exactly like hot horse manure when sawn鈥�.
Meanwhile, 鈥渁 pretty central Australian wattle known as gidgee smells like cat urine when wet, and its neighbour the dwarf eucalyptus mulga smells strongly like human excreta when disturbed.鈥�
Should campers bed down near either shrub, she says, a light overnight shower is enough to have them moving promptly in the morning. 鈥淚t is an unexplained joke to tourists when camp toilets are named the Gidgee and Mulga rooms, a bit like his and hers.鈥�
Pine fresh
MORE odorous trees are available for those beyond Australia. 鈥淭he bark of Jeffrey pines, a majestic tree found in western parts of North America, smells like cream soda 鈥� vividly and mouth-wateringly,鈥� writes Ben Haller.
On the other hand, he says, Callery pear trees were once quite popular with urban arborists, but the species has fallen from favour since it became widely known that the blossoms give off a strong semen-like scent.
And while Ginkgo biloba is a perennial favourite among fans of herbal supplements, the seeds of the plant are far less appetising, with a perfume 鈥渙ften described as smelling like vomit鈥�.
Smelt like grass
ANDREW UNDERWOOD (a variety we are sure smells wonderful) takes us into the marine olfactory realm: 鈥淭he strangest scent I know of is the argentine fish, which smells of fresh mown grass when freshly caught,鈥� he writes.
It is regarded as an unwanted trash fish by Scottish trawlermen out of Glasgow, he tells us, yet is delicious when grilled, taking on the taste of trout, to which it is distantly related. 鈥淚 used to mince up trash fish like these to feed to flatfish at the White Fish Authority鈥檚 experimental fish farm that operated near Hunterston nuclear power station,鈥� says Andrew.
鈥淎t one time I dreamed of getting rich by selling argentines as a substitute for trout. The fish is very attractive, and if it weren鈥檛 for the weird smell before cooking, I am sure it would be widely eaten.鈥�
Salad serpent
FINALLY: sliced in sandwiches, they are a staple of English picnics, but if you catch a whiff of cucumber while exploring the woods in the eastern US you鈥檇 best watch where you tread. This aroma is also the smell that venomous copperhead snakes emit when startled.
Terence Kuch tells us: 鈥淚 have smelled copperheads in the undergrowth before being able to see them.鈥� A good thing too: given the snakes鈥� ability to blend in perfectly with its surroundings, this is likely to be the only warning you鈥檒l get.