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Feedback: Blue miracle tonic is high on pH, low on evidence

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

blue bottle

Basic brew

FEEDBACK’s fruitloopery detector previously warmed up in the presence of Blue Bottle Love’s solar-powered healing water (30 January). Now we find it positively sizzling upon the discovery of Blue Moon Dream Water.

DzԻDz’s Evening Standard newspaper reports that the turquoise tipple is in vogue with the city’s health trendsetters, and notes that its alkaline properties are purportedly the key to looking like a supermodel.

, Feedback hasn’t been able to get its hands on any of this blue elixir. We wonder if a glass of Toilet Duck is an acceptable substitute.

“Peter Davies on quantum footwear: ‘I thought socks existed in a state of superposition, since they are simultaneously both right- and left-footed until you put them on’”

Mobile library

UNUSUAL units from around the world are still wandering into Feedback’s inbox.

Anthony Daniel sends us a clipping from a guidebook he used on a recent trip to the volcanic region of Lanzarote, which reveals that “The camel can carry at least 600 books, and some can carry as many as a thousand.”

Anthony says: “At least if you find your camel can only manage 600 books, you will have plenty of reading matter to pass the time while waiting for a second camel.”

Fabric of reality

READERS continue to be vexed by quantum superposition manifesting itself at the macro scale.

Chris Knight reports: “When putting a fitted sheet on my mattress, the sheet begins in a state of being long enough to fit the mattress in any direction.

“It is only after I get two corners in place that it collapses into having a long and a short side – invariably, the short side is the one I am trying to fit over the length of the mattress, requiring me to start over.”

Chris also reports another confounding factor, in which the square duvet cover fits “well enough” in either orientation. “Only when observed by my wife, however, does it collapse into a correct or incorrect alignment,” he sighs.

Extra dimensional toolbench

MEANWHILE, Chas Bazeley writes that “it is well known amongst those with an interest in do-it-yourself that any tool placed on a workbench will instantly flip out of existence, only to reappear 10 minutes later in the same spot once they are looking for something else”.

Carbon fix

THOSE looking to cut down on their calories might like to try loading up on a few bags of Domino Sugar. Sue Jarvis directs us to the company’s website, which boasts that its sweet stuff is ““.

While it’s possible this is simply a reference to a carbon-emissions certification system, Feedback thinks you may need an airtight shopping bag rather than a basket for this carbon-free carbohydrate, and advises you to steer clear of naked flames.

Rigged ratio

YET more rules for life: Peter Steggle tells us that our battles with macro-scale quantum effects are a manifestation of the mysterious 50-50-90 rule. He explains: “Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90 per cent probability you’ll get it wrong.”

Peter also provides evidence from his day-to-day life. “As an electrician, when we connect up a three-phase motor, it has a 50-50 chance that it will rotate in the right direction. But they always seem to go the wrong way.”

Voltage splitter

SPEAKING of electrics, Mick Johnson sparks our curiosity with a strange clause he discovered in some anonymous guidance notes for the latest edition of the UK’s wiring regulations, which claims that they “purely outline a standard by which all electrical installations, using normal electricity as opposed to Nuclear and other types of electricity, are installed…”

how he can tell the difference between normal, nuclear and other types of electricity at the point at which it boils his kettle – and whether a special type of plug is needed.

Big gulp

Man holding an enormous bottle

IN RESPONSE to the UK government reducing its recommended alcohol limit (newscientist.com/article/dn28742), Richard Sleeman tells us he has “enrolled on a wine-tasting course to ensure that the meagre quantity which is allowed to pass my lips is of the highest quality”.

During a class, Richard was shown a bottled labelled “750ML”. “Throughout my career as a chemist, the abbreviation for millilitre has changed several times: cc, cm3, ml, and seems to have settled on mL,” he says. “But I’ve never come across ML, which must surely be megalitre.”

Feedback can only begin to imagine what a 750-megalitre bottle might look like – let alone which biblical king the bottle should be named after.

Not a moment to lose

AN IMPORTANT announcement from our colleagues on the news desk: there are at least 2.8 billion years left before the universe tears itself apart (5 March, p 18). “Thank goodness,” says Neil Winegarden, “I still need to paint the kitchen.” But surely not everyone will be so fortunate. Feedback is certain readers can suggest some things that still won’t be done by the year 2800002016.

Magazine cover

READER Max Galloway informs us: “When I first bought condoms, I bought a èƵ magazine with them to not look weird”. We’re happy to be of assistance to Max, although it makes us wonder what other unusual uses readers have found for this publication.

Topics: Quantum science