Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Linear velocity
OUR readers continue to be plagued by quantum effects making themselves felt at larger scales (13 February). “Surely the most widespread macroscopic manifestation is queuing,” says Larry Stoter. By joining a queue, he explains, you increase the precision with which you know its length. But consequently, the uncertainty principle manifests itself, making your momentum uncertain.
Advertisement
“As your mass remains fixed,” Larry concludes, “your velocity towards the front of the queue remains uncertain, and it is quite likely your queuing time will go up instead of down.”
A screw loose
FEEDBACK previously noted that USB cables, despite having two possible orientations, will usually only connect on the third attempt. “I have another example with a larger number of ‘superposed’ states,” writes Richard Price.
“Back in the day, we electronic engineers stored our resistors and capacitors in four-sided carousels of little drawers. In my experience, the component I wanted was often to be found on the fifth side that I tried.”
“While shopping at our local grocery, we heard the announcement ‘All perishable managers please report to the office’,” writes John Cleveland. “In the long run, aren’t we all?“
Fundamental laws
BUT is there more to this quantum quirk than meets the eye? Richard suggests that these so-called quantum effects are in fact a manifestation of Murphy’s Law – which states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong – and its corollaries.
Mulling on this, Feedback is prompted to raise the question, do we in fact have everything on its head? Can the fundamental laws of physics be described in what we thought were satirical rules of thumb? Answers on a postcard, please.
Another one crops up
LIKE a determined weed, no matter how much we try to thin out examples of nominative determinism, green shoots sprout up between our toes. And so hearty congratulations to Lucy de la Pasture, who has been appointed technical editor at .
Bowl food
FEEDBACK previously reported on Arden Grange’s claims that its cat food was “not tested on animals” (20 February). J.D. Baines writes to report that the company described its dog food the same way 15 years ago. “I wrote to them then asking if it was tested on the chairman, but received no response,” J.D. says.
Feedback imagines that a bowl of cat food would make an easy meal for one well-acquainted with dog chow, but Arden Grange staff may need stronger stomachs (and teeth) if the company widens its customer base to include those with more exotic pets such as parrots – or snakes.
Bring me the horizon
REFERRING to reports that US rapper BoB thinks the world is flat (20 February), Chris Evans writes to put things in perspective. “BoB’s comment that ‘No matter how high in elevation you are… the horizon is always eye level’ is a bit difficult to understand,” says Chris, “but I would like to suggest that he visits Roque de los Muchachos, at the summit of the island of La Palma. From this altitude of 2423 metres, on a clear day the ocean horizon appears distinctly curved.”
Lost in translation
ROUNDING errors when converting inches to centimetres are bad enough, writes Steve Morton (20 February), “but confusing the German Pflanzenschildchen with Danish is quite another. I assume Feedback confused the label D for Deutschland with Denmark (DK), but surely you should have known that Denmark does not have a border with the Netherlands!”
Steve encourages Feedback to get out of the office, take the Eurostar to Brussels, and explore the near continent while brushing up on modern European languages. We couldn’t agree more, but the editor is shaking his head.
The pounds fly off
SLIMMERS take note: a weekend abroad could drop you a dress size – temporarily, at least. Lance Hartland writes to tell us that it’s not just plant labels for which size depends on the country you are in. He refers us to the label of his jacket, which is listed as XXL for Italian and French customers, XL for ones in the UK and Germany, and simply L for those in the US.
Long term protection
THE latest advice on Zika, as reported by our colleagues on the news desk, is for men to “wear a condom for six months after symptoms stop” (20 February, p 7). “No doubt this is well-intended advice,” writes John Parry, “but personally I would find it extremely difficult to comply.”
Man and boy
MESSAGE in a bottle? Comments made by pop maestro (and latterly, award-winning vintner) Sting in left Jim Ainsworth feeling addled.
“I’m from the north of England,” said the tantric singer, “so I drank beer from age 16 on and younger.”
“So when did he start drinking beer?” wonders Jim. “I’m from the north of England too, but it still doesn’t make sense to me.”
Tasting notes
FEEDBACK notes that the singer also outs himself as a proponent of Masaru Emoto’s endlessly fruitful theories on the susceptibility of liquids to emotive imprinting (5 December 2015).
“I go down and play to the wine,” said Sting. “I practise down there. If I play it true, the wine is better.” Well, jazz-infused wine is certainly more appealing than tepid bottles of sun-charmed water (30 January).

