(Image: Paul McDevitt)
Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Laboratory saboteurs
FEEDBACK is arrested by the news that Rubis, a lamb genetically engineered to contain fluorescent jellyfish protein, somehow found her way onto dinner plates in France after being sold to a local abattoir.
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The French National Institute for Agronomic Research (INRA) sent Rubis to the slaughterhouse in 2014, hidden among a consignment of unmodified test animals, allegedly after a supervisor was tricked into signing off the sale by a disgruntled employee.
鈥淭he best-controlled institution cannot ward against individual waywardness,鈥� rued an unnamed source to The Telegraph , which prompts Feedback to wonder what other legendary acts of laboratory waywardness readers can share with us.
Tim Smith was pleased to find a 鈥淯niversal Halogen Bulb鈥� for his oven, especially since the seller adds 鈥淲e are now shipping these with much longer leads to make them more universal.鈥�
PR peacekeepers
THE PR industry has long enticed journalists with pseudo-scientific stories supported by apparently simple but unexplained equations, usually claiming to reveal the secret to perfect pancakes, toast, football chants, and so on.
so reliable that the great M&C Saatchi used it to announce the firm鈥檚 20-year anniversary last month. The advertising giant excitedly proclaimed that it had 鈥渃racked the marketing code鈥� with a new equation, and brought peace to the turbulent offices of press relations companies.
鈥淎rt and science have been at war for centuries,鈥� thundered Lord Saatchi implausibly in a press release, 鈥溈烀ǘ淌悠祍 denounce the artists as dinosaurs. Artists repay the compliment: Bean counters! The new Saatchi Institute proposes a formula to separate the combatants and start a peace process. Marketing has not yet found its Newton鈥� until now.鈥�
The formula to this portentous fruitloopery, unveiled at a glitzy party at London鈥檚 V&A museum, is y = ae办(位鈦勎�), seems to know what these letters spell out. An argument for more dubious algebra in press releases, perhaps?
Clash of the titans
THE proliferation of technology can present unexpected problems. For the last year, London commuters have been warned about the dangers of 鈥渃ard clash鈥�, a phenomenon whereby the contactless payment machines that guard the capital鈥檚 transport network deduct a fare from the wrong card, from more than one card, or become paralysed with indecision.
As more and more companies submit to the lure of contactless cards, the electromagnetic real estate surrounding the nation鈥檚 wallets and purses is suffering a tragedy of the commons.
Consequently, a colleague reports that his wallet has become an accidental game of radio field Top Trumps: a National Union of Journalists鈥� card blocks his building entry card, while an Arsenal season ticket incapacitates London鈥檚 Oyster transport pass. But what is the star card in this maligned deck? We eagerly await the results of your inadvertent contactless contests.
More drops in the bucket
OUR inbox is deluged with theories on the Royal Homeopathic Hospital鈥檚 decision to change its name to the Royal London Hospital for Integrated Medicine (20 June).
鈥淚n homeopathy, the less of an active substance that is used, the more powerful it is,鈥� points out Derek Woodroffe. 鈥淪o by removing the word homeopathy they have made the message more powerful.鈥� Although he wonders why they need a whole hospital, when one ward in an otherwise empty building would be more successful.
Commenting on the revelation that Prince Charles lobbied for increased funding for homeopathy, Larry McCloskey posits likewise: 鈥淲ouldn鈥檛 decreased funding be called for to increase the efficacy of homeopathic healthcare?鈥�
Catalogue nails screws
BROWSING his Screwfix catalogue for building supplies, Doug Fenna is pleased to find that 11/2鈥� Quicksilver Woodscrews are as being 鈥渋deal for use with screwdrivers鈥�. Doug can鈥檛 help but admit 鈥渢hat鈥檚 certainly a good attribute for a screw!鈥�
Long lunch
HIGH above Earth, Richard Sleeman discovers a curious factoid printed on the box of his in-flight meal, a cheese and chutney baguette. It would take 鈥渁n incredible 200,375 of these baguettes to cover the circumference of the world just once!鈥� the packaging exclaimed.
鈥淚t is a lot of sandwiches,鈥� says Richard, 鈥渂ut it didn鈥檛 seem an incredible number to me.鈥� He calculated that each sandwich would have to be 200 metres long to qualify this statement as true, whereas the one he was served was closer to 20 centimetres in length.
Feedback is left to ponder whether there is an International Standard Baguette in Paris from which we could make an official estimate of the number need to encircle the globe.
Poor Richard, meanwhile, says 鈥淚 spent the rest of the flight hoping that the same mathematicians weren鈥檛 responsible for calculating the amount of fuel we needed.鈥�