Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Scatological scorecards
SEVERAL times a week, Feedback receives alerts from the . We welcome them; our colleagues even find some alerts useful. But we are puzzled by a common streak running through them: an apparent fixation on matters scatological (7 June 2014). We promised then to score each alert out of 7 (that being as good a magic number as any).
Our impression is confirmed by the last three announcements at the time of writing: 鈥減iglets affected by diarrhea epidemic鈥� (7 points), 鈥渂acteriophage spreading antibiotic resistance between bugs in chicken meat鈥� (3 points) and 鈥済iant panda gut bacteria鈥� (6 points). But this doesn鈥檛 take us beyond the discourse analysis so beloved of social scientists.
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By the time this ink is dry we will have a full year of data 鈥� and hope to produce the promised statistical analysis. We face a problem, however, in selecting a control group with which to compare the ASM鈥檚 excretion. Must we flush out the whole of microbiology for the year?
Spotted in a London supermarket: 鈥淥ur fresh chicken is British and has been for 10 years鈥�. So it鈥檚 about ready to collect its chicken pension?
Legal deposition
A COLLEAGUE forwards a most wonderful note from the US . In this, George Patterson on the case Lowe v. Atlas Logistics Group Retail Services in the US Federal court for the northern district of Georgia.
The defendant company had the unfortunate experience of a person or persons unknown repeatedly defecating on its floor. To try to find the culprit, it insisted that two employees provide cheek swabs for DNA testing 鈥� which ruled them out.
The , in what may turn out to be a significant tightening of the application of science to industrial relations, that the company had breached the rights of the employees under the , which prohibits employment or health insurance discrimination on the basis of genetic testing. The judge has scheduled a separate hearing on damages for 8 June. Companies facing this distressing problem will need other means of finding the culprits, then.
Watch your step
JUDICIAL humour: it鈥檚 always safest to appreciate it. The court is extensively footnoted. The first is: 鈥淎pparently, this problem is not as rare as one might imagine. See Ashtari, , The Huffington Post (June 26, 2014 10:59 AM).鈥�
Inimitable bowel syndrome
FEEDBACK has, as Shane Cave puts it, 鈥渞esiled from nominative determinism as many times as a tragic smoker鈥�. Shane is just one of the readers to beg an exception: in this case for the author of Darm mit Charme, literally 鈥淐harming Bowels鈥�, which in the UK media before the translation was published as Gut (reviewed on page 47). Shane nominates her as 鈥渁 direct descendent of Splatt and Weedon鈥�, the urologists who prompted the discussion of the ways in which names influence occupations (28 February). Her name isn鈥檛 quite so evocative, but is still fundamentally appropriate. Step forward and squat down please, Giulia Enders.
Paper to the people
WHILE we are on this subject, it is time for a belated correction to Feedback鈥檚 usually impeccable Latin grammar. Last year Feedback was startled by the extent of correspondence about the quantity of toilet paper that people may consume. Stefan Bojczuk suggested that, rather than the 鈥渞olls per capita per year鈥� used by The New York Times, the unit should be 鈥減er anus per annum鈥� (3 May 2014). Gerald Crossan suggests that should be per anos as he believes that 鈥減er capita鈥� uses the accusative plural of the noun. He apologises for catching up belatedly with these columns and vows, 鈥淚 must stay in more to read them.鈥�
Weighty matters
ANOTHER correction has floated to the surface. Charles Wright observes that we had quoted an that daily human waste production of 72,000 tons for India is 鈥渟tunning鈥� as well as being 鈥渢he equivalent weight of almost 10 Eiffel Towers or 1800 humpback whales鈥� (3 May 2014).
Charles notes that this is a mere 57 grams per person per day. The report in fact referred to 640 million people defecating in the open: that鈥檚 still only 112 grams each. This suggests, Charles says, that 鈥減eople in India have serious intestinal problems鈥�.
Top shelf science
FINALLY, Martin Edwardes reports seeking 快猫短视频 in a shop in what seems to be the major legacy of the 2012 Olympic Games in London, the Westfield Stratford City shopping mall. He couldn鈥檛 find it in the 鈥渟ingle magazine rack aimed at multi-brain-cell readers鈥�. Nor could he see any other magazine from the reality-based science publishing community.
He asked an assistant, and was told that the science magazines are 鈥渂ehind the till鈥�. That means you have to go up to a cashier and reveal your guilty secret for the whole store to hear.
If you want a brown paper bag to cover your shame, you pay 10p extra.