CONTRACTS, in the law of countries such as England, Wales and Australia, exist only where the parties concerned exhibit the intention to make an agreement, where there is an offer of something of value, and where there is acceptance. Weird and wonderful are some companies鈥� attempts to bind online purchasers into a contract, despite the difficulty of regarding a stream of photons on a computer screen as proof of acceptance.
But why does the above-mentioned appear in 快猫短视频 and not New Lawyer? Because of the odd things that happen when warranty-drafting lawyers collide with a Feedback reader, is why.
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Michael Jones was initially delighted to receive an email from Umart, an Australian online computer vendor, accepting his money in return for promised goods and informing him of the 鈥渨arranty return procedure鈥�. Then he read: 鈥淧lease read the terms carefully as by reading it, you agree to be bound by the terms of the warranty return.鈥�
Feedback imagines a mental crunching sound at this point. 鈥淭hanks for sending me details of the Umart warranty return procedure,鈥� Michael replied. 鈥淯nfortunately I am unable to read the terms, as you claim that by reading them I automatically agree to be bound by them鈥� For all I know, the terms might state that I must do something very painful to myself with an item before I return it.鈥�
Then a solution occurred: 鈥淧erhaps I should have a friend read the terms to me rather than reading them myself?鈥� he suggested.
Finally, a brainwave. His email to Umart continued: 鈥淏y reading the above you agree to send me a $100 voucher redeemable at any Umart store. Thanks for your generosity.鈥�
A month later, Michael is still waiting for Umart to reply.
Robert Bright鈥檚 carton of Flora margarine told him on the top-right corner of the lid that it was 鈥渘ew鈥�, and on the bottom-left corner that it was the 鈥渙riginal鈥�
This response is not a response
THE emailed response from dating site eHarmony鈥檚 customer care department to the message sent by Richard Eibeck took him aback somewhat.
Having told him to send his enquiries via the form on the FAQ page of the company鈥檚 website, it went on to conclude enigmatically: 鈥淧lease Note: We regret to inform you that the e-mail message that you have submitted was not received and you will not receive a response.鈥�
IN OUR holiday issue, Bryn Glover suggested swapping the names 鈥渁strology鈥� and 鈥渁stronomy鈥� and went on to wonder if there were 鈥渁ny other areas where swapping names would lead to greater clarity鈥� (22/29 December 2012).
Several readers responded with what a little searching reveals to be the that Iceland and Greenland should swap names.
Maya Keshav sums it up: 鈥淚celand is mostly green and Greenland is mostly ice,鈥� she notes, and adds that, according to legend: 鈥淓rik the Red discovered Greenland and wanted his Viking mates to go populate it, so he made it sound like an attractive spot to live.鈥�
We also enjoyed Alan Bundy鈥檚 idea that 鈥渁tom鈥� and 鈥渜uark鈥� should swap. 鈥淭he word 鈥榓tom鈥�,鈥� he says, 鈥渨as originally intended to name the smallest possible, and therefore indivisible, particle. Unfortunately, it was applied far too early. For the moment, quarks seem to be playing the role intended for 鈥榓tom鈥�.鈥� (Though readers will be forgiven for wondering how long that will last.)
Meanwhile, Peter Mabey points out that as 鈥渙xygen鈥� has the derivation of 鈥渁cid generator鈥�, the name really belongs to hydrogen (鈥渨ater generator鈥�), and the name 鈥渉ydrogen鈥� would then more appropriately be applied to water鈥檚 larger constituent by mass (currently called oxygen).
THE instruction booklet that came with the electric appliance Don Wycherley bought from Marks and Spencer warned him: 鈥淭he appliance becomes hot during operation 鈥� this is normal.鈥�
Don tells us: 鈥淚n view of the fact that the appliance is actually a kettle, I think I might have figured this out for myself.鈥�
鈥淣O SWIMMING. Danger of contracting waterborne diseases. Offenders will be liable to prosecution.鈥�
Raffi Katz sends us a photo of a sign bearing these words on a bridge over the Grand Union Canal near Watford, north of London.
Raffi finds the wording unsatisfactory. 鈥淚sn鈥檛 the threat of contracting a waterborne disease much greater than being prosecuted?鈥� he asks. He suggests that instead the sign should read: 鈥淒anger of contracting waterborne diseases. Offenders will be liable to contract a waterborne disease.鈥�
FINALLY, thanks to the readers who tipped us off about from 鈥渃arnivores handler鈥� Andy Wolfenden in an interview in London newspaper The Guardian on 7 January: 鈥淲hen [tiger] Kirani arrived [at Chester Zoo], she was particularly aggressive. I spent a long time sitting with her, reading her extracts from the 快猫短视频 to calm her down. It did the trick.鈥�
We would also like to thank the reader, or readers, who made good the lack of a section on 鈥淎ppearances in Popular Culture鈥� in the Wikipedia page about 快猫短视频. We complained about this omission on 5 January. Lo and behold, . Wonder what else we should complain about.