WOULD you like to offer your pet dog or cat some chemical-free flea and tick control? If you鈥檙e a New Zealander, you鈥檙e in luck. Just send the Pawtect company NZ$91 for a slim, lightweight protective pendant for your pet.
You may, however, need to suspend your common sense while you read the claims on the that Brian Lehtonen directs us to. This tells us: 鈥淭he Pawtect pendants use a proprietary bio-energetic process combining quantum physics, homeopathic principles, and advanced computer software technology. The Pawtect pendants work with your pets鈥� unique energy to strengthen their immune system and create a frequency barrier that repels and controls fleas, ticks and mosquito鈥檚 [sic].鈥�
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And so it goes on, for several more pages of nonsense. We especially like the way they鈥檝e dragged 鈥渜uantum鈥� in. And did we ever add 鈥渂io-energetic鈥� to our list of fruitloopery indicators? No? Well, we are adding it now.
In the car park for Lytham St Anne鈥檚 police station in Lancashire, UK, two spaces are designated 鈥淯nmarked Police Cars Only鈥�. David Walesby thinks this is a bit of a giveaway
READERS who are taken with the idea of pendants for pets will be thrilled to learn that they can try out such pendants for themselves at , to which Gus McNaughton kindly directs us. The 鈥淨uantum Vortex Energy Power Pendants鈥� on sale there are apparently 鈥渉igh vibrational products鈥� Through the intricate energy grids of sacred geometry and Quantum Nano Technology these products are self-adjusting and strive to elevate your vibration and awareness.鈥� All this for just $119.99!
Meanwhile, we鈥檙e beginning to think we should add 鈥渘ano鈥� to our list of fruitloopery indicators too.
AT A very reasonable price of 拢2.50 for 750 grams, the Ice Clear that Barry Cash spotted in his local Co-operative store looked just the thing to have ready in case of a return to wintry conditions. A 鈥渇ast and effective way to clear frost, ice and snow鈥�, it is apparently easy to sprinkle, it is less corrosive than salt, it stops refreezing for up to 24 hours, it is biodegradable and it is safe with animals and plants.
But what is it made of? Barry couldn鈥檛 find any list of ingredients on the container, nor on the website of the supplier, . He began to wonder if Challs was 鈥渢aking the piss鈥�, only to discover that, in a sense, they are. At the bottom of the Ice Clear web page, in very small type, is a link labelled 鈥淒ata Sheets鈥�. Click on this, and you will that Ice Clear has one ingredient: urea.
RELAX about getting your tax returns in. British reader Robin Stratford received a letter from Her Majesty鈥檚 Revenue and Customs that read: 鈥淭hank you for your letter which we received on 15 December 2010 about your form P800 Tax Calculation for the year ended 5 April 2010, which we sent to you on 14 October 2019.鈥�
We can only assume that tax-payers are allowed to use the same time machine.
THIS week鈥檚 award for stating the blindingly obvious goes to Science Daily. Neill Jones points us to a statement in a February that tells us: 鈥淭he scientists discovered that certain proteins, called extremely long-lived proteins (ELLPs)鈥� have a remarkably long lifespan.鈥�
鈥淚 think that in this case the clue was in the name,鈥� suggests Neill.
Trillions and trillions to one
THANKS to Tom Smith for pointing us to a correction in The New York Times science section on 26 January that he says 鈥渕ade me smile鈥�. At the bottom of , we read: 鈥淎 previous version of this article misstated the probability that all four mutations for lambda viruses would arise at once. It is roughly one in a thousand trillion trillion, not one in a thousand billion billion.鈥�
STUMBLING to the tram stop after a long day of multilingual diplomatic wrangling at the United Nations鈥� World Intellectual Property Organization in Geneva, a colleague鈥檚 bleary eye was caught by a kerbside sign at an entrance to the landscaped grounds: 鈥�Acc猫s interdit aux chiens鈥�. That is: 鈥淎ccess forbidden to dogs.鈥� But how will the dogs learn of this ban? Though both UN and Swiss bureaucrats are accustomed to multilingual documentation, this one is in French and pictogrammese only.
Perhaps we shouldn鈥檛 be surprised that the bureaucrats鈥� sense of humour did not extend to translating it into dog, unlike the sign in Chiswick Park, London, which says, 鈥淕rrr, bark, woof. Good dog鈥� (3 October 2009).
FINALLY, do two negatives make a positive? Robin Moorshead was struck by the 鈥淔ake Dummy Home SPY Security Surveillance CCTV Camera鈥� on sale on eBay at . If it is a fake dummy as advertised, does that make it real?