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Dopey dinosaur dates

WHAT do creationists make of dinosaurs? The Arkansas-based Museum of Earth History () has some surprising insights. You might have thought, for example, that the dinosaurs couldn’t fit on Noah’s ark – but the museum reveals that God carefully selected pairs of young dinosaurs small enough to fit on board, who could go forth and multiply when the Flood receded. The description of Behemoth in the Old Testament’s book of Job, written 300 years later, “clearly matches the description of a sauropod (commonly known as a brontosaurus)”, the museum’s website reports.

And what finished off the dinosaurs? The museum, obviously in no doubt that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time, puts the blame on human pressure, which it calls “the most significant factor in animal extinction, including dinosaurs”.

But the biggest surprise on the site is the dating of all dinosaurs, including triceratops and Tyrannosaurus rex, to 10,000 years BC. From the creationist point of view, this is positively scandalous. Does the museum not know that 17th-century bishop James Ussher’s careful biblical chronology dated the creation of the Earth itself to 23 October 4004 BC?

“The web page of Cranfield University’s Institute of Bioscience and Technology in Bedfordshire, UK, promises the world “Business…beyond technical feasibility”. So much more ambitious than your average mission statement”

At the risk of embarrassing the museum, we must point out that Ussher’s chronology receives strong support at another site, “Tas Walker’s Biblical Geology” (). This site, as reader Alex Ritchie notes, dispenses with all those confusing geological periods such as the Cambrian and the Devonian and replaces them with four neat time divisions: Creation Event, Lost World Era, Flood Event and New World Era. Walker’s comparison of biblical chronologies puts the Creation Event at some time between Ussher’s 4004 BC (Walker’s preferred date) and 5470 BC, a difference rightly described as “small compared with dates published by secular historians”.

Museum of Earth History take note. If you’re going to hack it as young Earth creationists, at least make sure you agree on the same dopey dates.

Bird flu and bad taste

A CONCERNED reader has written to èƵ wondering why the magazine hasn’t urged readers to stockpile kimchi (Korea’s spicy answer to sauerkraut) after the Feedback item describing the fermented food’s alleged efficacy against bird flu (26 November). It seems our item was a bit too po-faced for everyone to notice that it was tongue-in-cheek. Just to make things completely clear: despite the claims faithfully reported in that story, we at Feedback are not entirely convinced that fermented cabbage cures bird flu.

That said, and to show that we are not the only ones on the block with a dodgy sense of humour, here is another bird flu joke that teeters even closer to the brink of bad taste than our sauerkraut story did. It is provided by the anonymous creator of “H5N1 wear” (), a line of T-shirts, sweatshirts, baseball caps, badges and even a baby suit, with slogans such as “Pandemic fever – catch it!”, “Ask me about bird flu” and “Bird Flu World Tour 2005-2006”.

But the trouble with bird flu jokes, as we have seen, is that not everyone finds them funny. The H5N1 collection used to include a take-off of the US advertising slogan “got milk?”. It used instead the slogan “got tamiflu?”, in reference to the antiviral medication made by Swiss firm Roche, which is being stockpiled by many countries and not-a-few scared private citizens. Sadly, the site laments, those products were “removed, per the very persuasive request of attorneys representing Roche”.

C’mon guys. Where’s your sense of humour?

Come again? (1)

SORRY, could you say that again? Having just installed Adobe Photoshop on his computer, Keith Duncan went online to check for updates and got the following message: “The Adobe Updater must update itself before it can check for updates. Would you like to update Adobe Updater now?”

Come again? (2)

AND sorry, could you say this again, too? Mike Bradfield was attempting to uninstall a copy of his Nokia phone software from his PC when he got this message: “Installation found Nokia PC Suite on this computer. Because Nokia PC Suite and Nokia PC Suite cannot function flawlessly in the same computer, installation was cancelled. To use Nokia PC Suite in this computer, first uninstall Nokia PC Suite.”

The street with no name

FINALLY, in the little town of Sandwich on the UK’s Kent coast, there is a small street called “No Name Street” complete with its own nameplate. Chris Moody, who noticed this, says: “Make of that what you will.”

But what would Moody make of the street sign that Russell Pearse spotted near Ararat in Western Victoria, Australia? If you understand French, “Sans Nom Road” has no name. Has it? But if you don’t, it has. Hasn’t it?

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