TINSELTOWN seems to have woken up to the genetic revolution. Following on the
footage of Steven Spielberg鈥檚 stunningly successful Jurassic Park come
a pair of blockbusters exploring the genetic theme: Andrew Niccol鈥檚
Gattaca and Jean-Pierre Jeunet鈥檚 Alien: Resurrection. Niccol鈥檚
film is about a brave new world run by a genetically engineered elite, in which
a 鈥渘atural-born鈥� struggles to get on even terms. Jeunet鈥檚 film, number 4 in the
Alien series, features attempts to regrow Ripley, the hero left dead at
the end of Alien 3.
Real geneticists are accusing both films of painting a highly inaccurate
picture of scientists at work and of trivialising real and complex issues. But
since when has Horrorwood let scientific credibility get in the way of dollar
signs? Both movies fulfil their prime function of putting bums on
seats鈥攁nd their success means that, like it or not, we could be seeing
many more of the genre.
There is no shortage of themes: the history and science of genetics contains
a feast of hitherto unexplored cinematic ideas. Take Gregor Mendel. With a tight
narrative rein and the right cast, his story could be a real winner. What
Amadeus did for classical music, Mendel in Black could do for
genetics. I see Keanu Reeves cast as Greg Mendel, a man going nowhere fast.
Disillusioned with a faltering career in accountancy, Greg becomes celibate and
retires to take up market gardening in rural Essex. . . But when a proposed
motorway extension threatens to destroy his back garden and his burgeoning crop
of pea plants, he is forced to take on the establishment to protect his
livelihood. With all hope apparently lost, and with the bulldozers outside, Greg
stumbles on the laws of inheritance while harvesting his peas. The garden
becomes a site of special scientific interest, leaving the government no option
but to reroute the motorway.
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Horror has always been one of Hollywood鈥檚 finest exports. But my researches
(Forum, 18 January, p 42) have led me to the
discovery that scriptwriters have mysteriously overlooked the fright factor of
facial hair. Attack of the Killer Beard could be the Jaws of
the 1990s. It would go something like this: grossly contaminated by food after
years of neglect, a top scientist鈥檚 beard mutates into an autonomous 鈥渉air
creature鈥�. By night, the creature must seek out suitably hirsute victims with
which to mate, and soon the entire scientific community is living in fear of
attack. Will a vital shipment of razors arrive in time to save the day? Taught,
tense, tousled and terrifying, it鈥檚 hair-raising horror.
Screenplays marked 鈥淐鈥� for controversial rarely find their way to the big
screen. But Mission Improbableis a film that could faithfully translate
controversy into dollars. I鈥檇 choose Sigourney Weaver to play Carrington, a CIA
research scientist given the job of solving the nature/nurture debate. After
cloning Christ from bits of DNA preserved in the Turin Shroud, Carrington
watches 鈥淏arry鈥� Christ (Jeff Goldblum) grow up to become a hugely successful
footballer with no obvious religious tendencies. But when Barry gets hailed as
the New Messiah by his adoring fans, the audience is left to make up its own
mind about the roots of human behaviour and the thorny issue of free will.
For those who are fed up with Hollywood鈥檚 misrepresentation of science, my
suggestions may be of little comfort. But if art really does imitate life, then
The Germinator could offer some consolation. A maverick scientist
discovers the gene for bad acting, and then administers it 鈥渋ntravenously鈥� to an
unsuspecting populace, with cataclysmic consequences for worldwide thespianism.
Now there鈥檚 a thought.